Online dating...
I have come up with a list of Dos and Don'ts when it comes to creating a profile for an online dating website:
Do not use ALL CAPS when you write your profile, or when you email me. Honestly, if you can't be bothered to extend your index finger to push the caps lock key, how can I trust that you will be able to extend your index finger when it comes to taking care of more important matters?
Do not type your profile like you're sending me a text message. It will make me not want to CU 2Nite or L8r.
There is a spell check built into Firefox--use it!
Do not post pictures of any of the following:
Do not use ALL CAPS when you write your profile, or when you email me. Honestly, if you can't be bothered to extend your index finger to push the caps lock key, how can I trust that you will be able to extend your index finger when it comes to taking care of more important matters?
Do not type your profile like you're sending me a text message. It will make me not want to CU 2Nite or L8r.
There is a spell check built into Firefox--use it!
Do not post pictures of any of the following:
- You wearing your hat sideways. It didn't look cool on Vanilla ice, and it definitely doesn't look cool on you.
- You rubbing up against a fancy sports car or a giant truck. It's sad enough that you have a micro-penis without you having to announce it to the world.
- You with a mustache. I have too many tickets to date a cop, and no desire to date a pornstar whose fame peaked the year I was born.
- You surrounded by a bevy of scantily clad women. I do not wish to join your harem.
- You posing in your bathroom mirror with no shirt on. Hell, even if you do have a shirt on...
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